Another Bane of My Existence!

I just had an epiphany and I absolutely must stop watching cooking shows, even though I thoroughly enjoy watching them and learning new things about cooking.

I've learned a lot about texture, balance, depth and layers. My own cooking efforts now incorporate seasonings and techniques I never learned the first 60 years of my life. I even have a very expensive stainless steel double-headed mallet for beating the crap out of a chicken breast or a cheap cut of steak. Even restaurants now fear me and I've been banned from a couple (OK, not really, yet, but the day is probably coming). This all from the guy that used to think that a chili dog off that rotating thingy at 7-11 was fine dining. Hey! It's fine that I can get it any time of the day and it's dining.

But I'm rambling! Back to cooking shows on the TV.

Alas! I finally figured out the down side.

There are dozens of cooking shows and I used to watch most of them or tape them to watch later. Several each week, sometimes 2 or 3 in one day. The down side isn't the amount of time I spend watching these show. The down side is that watching these show have two really nasty side effects!

First, watching all these new ingredient combinations and techniques make me want to try them out right away. Unfortunately, sometimes that means that it's 10 p.m. at night and I'm out bustling around in the kitchen when I should be going to bed.

Secondly, like most Americans, I've come down with a rasty condition called instantgratificationitis. Which means that I've developed the need to eat that which I have recently created. Usually along about 30 minutes after 10 p.m. (which is about the same amount of time the contestants have to prepare their dish for judges tasting and I'm simply following their recipe).

I've also noticed that the need to duplicate and eat something I've seen on one of these shows is directly proportional to the ingredients. For instance, octopus. I get to bed right on time. I don't do octopus. However, chocolate, bacon, a nice cut of steak, just a touch of cayenne, oh heck, the list does go on so. I'm so glad Harris-Teeter is a 24-hour store.

So, I guess if I want to lose weight I'll have to quit taping and watching cooking shows. Maybe I'll substitute them with Storage Wars or Pawn Stars. There IS this cool place called the Stuff Store just up the street selling *antiques* and other cool second-hand items.

Unfortunately, it's right next to one of those convenient 24-hour fine dining establishments. But at least it's sure to keep me out of the kitchen.